I thought I would start things rolling by telling a bit about my spiritual history. I was raid Catholic in a Christian home. I was raised by my mother and grandparents for most of my life. My mom remarried when I was 15 years old, though my step father was in my life and living with us since I was about 8 year old. Although my mother and grandmother are Episcopal I was raised Catholic, in my father's faith. Since they were going to marry in a Catholic Church my mother had to sign a contract stating that any children she has in that marriage will be raised Catholic.
From 1st to 8th grade I went to Catholic school and went to church every Sunday until I was about 15. So deeply ingrained in this faith was I that at around the age of 8 I wanted to be a nun. As I got older I became more and more dissatisfied with my religion. As I came into my own I realized that my fundamental beliefs contradicted with Catholicism. Yet I still remained Catholic. By the time I was 20 I felt a burst of religious fervor. I thought maybe if I were to immerse myself in Catholicism I would be able to find what was missing in my life, or rather fill the gaping hole that I felt deep inside.
Yet I could not rid myself of the fact that there were so many things in that religion that I just could not agree with. So instead I went on a search. I read information upon information about a variety of world religions. But in the end it was Wicca that truly resonated with me. All the answers I was looking for was answered. It held many of the principles that I had already believed in. I read quite a few books, researched online, explored Pagan sites and even took Grove classes at a Pagan store in my area. It turned out that my best friend had also found herself traveling this path the same time I was, we actually decided to attend the Grove classes together. In a little less than I year into my study I did a Self-Dedication and have been on this path for 14 years now.
About a year in was when I decided to come out of the boom closet, as many call it. My step father accepted my choice immediately. My mother did too though I could tell she still held on to some of the misconceptions about Wicca/Paganism/Witchcraft. However, I do not think this came as a total surprise to her. Since I was about 17 my beliefs were always more spiritual in that I believed in a higher power, I believed in fate with intermittent free-will (by this I mean there are fated outcomes but the paths we choose do play a part in if we reach that outcome). Then when I was 19 I brought my first Tarot deck (I know have 3). It was then that my mother explained to me about my father also using Tarot. I did not know this as I had not seen him since I was 5 years old. But he to had a spiritual journey of his own. He was not happy with the Catholic faith and converted to Islam for a time, only to have to leave that faith as well. If he ever found what he sort I do not know but I definitely found mine.
I have not done much ritual work and have not been about to observe the holidays as I wish. I have lived with my partner for 4 years now. Although he is Christian he has been totally accepting and supportive of my faith. So much so he is willing to have a Wiccaning for our daughter and a Handfasting for when he marry. Although for the sake of our families we have decided to have a Wedding Ceremony. But if I am able to find someone to conduct a Handfasting where we live we will do that too. We have also agreed to raise our daughter knowing about Wicca, however her religious path will be her own to choose when she is old enough. In the meantime she will not only be taught about what I believe but about other beliefs so when the time comes she can make an informed decision. While he classifies himself as Christian he does not like organized religion, as he puts it. He said the only reason he sees himself as Christian is because he believes in God and Jesus. However, in my view he does hold to some of the Christian tennets that I can not get behind, like he is opposed to gay marriage. But his is one of the things that we agree to disagree on.
Currently I do not feel at ease practicing in the open as my partner's 15 year old son also lives with us. And while I do not think he will have a problem, his mother may. There has been so many difficulties with his mother (she makes a lot of trouble for my partner any chance she gets) that I do not want to give her yet another tool. So for the time being, even though I know feel I am ready to do ritual work and practice fully I will have to wait a few more years I think.
So that is the story of me. I am a Solitary Eclectic. Many may not see me as such or say that I do not have the right to label myself as such but in my heart that is what I know myself to be. Wow crazy long first post lol.
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